“Crank 2: High Voltage”
VPJ: “Umm … didn’t that guy die in the first movie? Like, plummeting from a helicopter whilst having a massive neural shutdown? I’m almost sure I recall that…
“Well, taking a page from the old movie serials, this nascent action franchise once again stars bullet-headed British torpedo Jason Statham, escaping from clearly depicted certain death, as a guy who, this time, has a transplanted heart that needs regular electric shocks so he can stay alive and kick enough people in the face for things to turn out OK.But I kid a guy who could cheerfully head-butt me into next Tuesday.
“I like Statham – his charmingly uncouth thug action hero is most welcome in the pretty boy-strewn hallways of action Hollywood, and reviving him, however ludicrously, for another go ’round in this cheerily stupid series, well … why not, I guess.”
JE: “And now he’s BACK AND BETTER THAN EVAH! I think we can just both agree Statham is on a special list reserved for actors we’ll watch no matter what? I mean, I found myself watching a part of the original ‘Crank’ one night if only to see how he kicks the next guy in the face. Same goes with ‘The Transporter 2.’
“I also think it’s good we both have given up on the whole ‘he needs to pull some respectable flicks on his resume’ argument. Just like a bar after Statham walks through, this guy’s career is littered with ridiculous (and cheesy) action movies. He seems to embody some weird sort of macho-charisma-face-kicking magic that captivates guys like us. In fact they should make ‘macho-charisma- face-kicking magic’ a Vitamin Water flavor exclusively made for and marketed by Statham. And I would buy it.”